Why I Hate Flying

The art of traveling. Is there anything more cool than going to places around in our great planet of ours? Thanks to the constant innovations in aviation, I could go to Beijing in a matter of a day and see the sights and sounds of a country like China (if I had the money).

Despite all this, I hate flying.

In fact, "hate" is probably not a strong enough word for it. I LOATHE FLYING.

If it was humanly possible, I would rather swim all the way across the Pacific and then hitchhike my way all across Communist China to get to the Forbidden City, than board a plane.

You can start giggling and snickering like an over-caffeinated schoolgirl about my "aviophobia." The fact is, you are much safer, MUCH SAFER, MUCH SAFER in a plane than you are in a car. That is just a fact. I don't like to judge people unless they are normally an ass (like Adam Carolla), but honestly that's pretty sad if you are terrified of jumping in a plane that 99.999% of the time, is perfectly safe. So no, I don't have aviophobia. That's not the reason why I hate flying.

The presence of crying babies, surprisingly, is also not another reason why I hate flying. First off, babies cry, that's just fact. Ask any parent and they will tell you how difficult it is to raise a child, let alone to take care of one when you're in the freaking air. I actually can't stand people who whine about babies crying on planes. You think it's easy to make a baby stop crying? Why don't you go over to the mother then and give her some "advice." If the baby's crying really pisses you off so much, just get some noise-canceling headphones dumbass.

I hate flying b/c it seems like everyone on planes is so uptight about every damn thing. I always tell my friends this story but seriously there was one time i was sitting in a plane and i had to move my leg (you know or else it would lose sensation) and then i ACCIDENTALLY knocked into the seat in front of me. The guy proceeded to histrionically give a loud, obnoxious, disgruntled groan like he had just been kicked in the groin. And then he proceeded to shift in his seat in a very obvious and childish way as if to say, "Thanks for ruining my comfort." WHAT DAMN COMFORT? We're in coach for heaven's sake. Salmon and sardines get packed with more room than we do. Listen bud, it's not like I was sitting in a bed of roses either. The last thing I want to do is get stuck on some stupid plane where some grown man in front of me starts acting like a spoiled child all because I needed to move my foot before I would have pins and needles running up my goddamn leg the rest of the flight.

Man I wanted to just slap the hell out of him.

I was compelled to write this blog after reading this story online.

WTF? That's what I thought as soon as I finished reading this. Your flight got delayed for uh...three hours. BOO HOO! I was on a train that was delayed for 5-6 hours b/c of a goddamn tornado. And then they proceeded to stay in their chairs like whiny brats because the airplane landed in Liege, Belgium when it was supposed to land in Beauvois, France. Okay, I will admit, the pilot should have mentioned that the plane was going to be redirected. Still, is it really that big of a deal? Is Liege like some third world dump? The airline company gave you stupid lazy idiots free shuttle buses to France. And I love how the article tries to defend them saying that they were forced to stay in a dark cabin with no food, no water, and no toilet. Well excuse me if I don't cry a river for them. If they had just gotten off the DAMN PLANE when it landed, they wouldn't have to worry about that.

Seriously, what did they want? The airport in France was closed. If they had landed there, I can just imagine them complaining about "Where's my baggage?!" or "Why isn't the McDonald's open?"

What a bunch of wimps. Try flying out of Chicago in December or January. The delays there are basically an entire freaking day because of all the snow. And these morons are crying their eyes out because their plane was delayed for three hours. Give me a break.

See at least when babies are crying or whining, they don't know any better and that's why they do it. When adults do it, it makes you fear for the future of the human race.

Again, this is exactly the reason why I LOATHE FLYING. I LOATHE IT WITH A PASSION. Too bad, it's the most logical and convenient way to travel.

Cheers,

DC