Top Five Things...that started great but got terrible later

Yesterday Michigan Wolverine football fans learned the news that the much reviled Rich Rodriguez has mercifully been relieved of his duties as the head coach of the once heralded college football program.

Rodriguez's first season with Blue was abysmal to say the least. However, in the beginning of 2009, the program seemed to be headed in the right direction. They won a monstrous game against Notre Dame that season and started off 4-0.

The future seemed bright. Then, Michigan went on to finish 1-7 with big losses against Michigan State and of course, Ohio State. They ended up losing all of their Big Ten games. 2010 was deja vu, Michigan started 5-0, beating Notre Dame once again in dramatic fashion. Then, Rodriguez and Michigan had a catastrophic meltdown against Michigan State again, proceeded to get slaughtered by OSU and then compounded it with a horrific performance against Miss State in the Gator Bowl.

In the end, there were no Gatorade showers, no celebrations of victory over the hated Buckeyes, it was just this

Rodriguez's tenure at Ann Arbor reminded me of several other things, all of which had GREAT starts, but then they just either went meh or they just plain flat out stunk.

WARNING: The following rants will CONTAIN SPOILERS. Read at your own RISK

FIVE























RED DEAD REDEMPTION

-I love westerns. Clint Eastwood and John Wayne are two of my all-time favorite actors. The Dollars Trilogy, True Grit, Magnificent Seven, you name it. Those movies are just the epitome of "American badassery"

One day around February of last year, on my way from lunch at Antonio's, one of the best pizza places in Champaign, I saw a poster for Red Dead Redemption, a new Rockstar video game taking place in the Wild West. I preordered the game and it arrived three months later, just a few days shy of my 22nd birthday.

I PLAYED THE GAME NON-STOP.

Red Dead Redemption was a beautiful production. The scenery was outstanding especially if played on a widescreen HD tv. It felt like you were riding your own mustang in the deserts of Texas, Mexico etc. The voice acting was superb, as of course were the characters, none of whom were particularly tacky or cliched. The name John Marston soon became synonymous with "badass motherf**ker" in my mind.

The plot of the game was perfect in the beginning. They did a great job mixing elements of all kinds of westerns, ranging from your classic John Wayne epics to the ultra violent and raw "spaghetti westerns." The interactions Marston had with memorable men like snake oil salesman Nigel West Dickens, hypocritical Mexican rebel Reyes, and the drunkard known only as Irish made for awesome dialog.

The most memorable scene in the game by far was the poker game involving a pretty quick tempered German. WARNING lots of profanity and some anti-German stereotypes lol

Where the game came apart was at the end. Suddenly when the freaking FBI and this other bull***t got involved, everything went from "Epic" to "WTF is this?" Perhaps the greatest kick in the nuts was the fact that *SPOILER* John Marston, a character you had grown to love for his bravery, sharp tongue, and hard-boiled personality, was gunned down like a total jabroni by the FBI assclowns whose presence in the game made about as much sense as someone bringing a tennis racket to play street basketball.

Then the game dragged on as you were forced to play as his loser son who then went on some extremely cliched storyline to get revenge on the FBI punkass who killed his father, and that's how the game ended.

To say I was disappointed would be a gross understatement. The final act of the game pissed me off so much that to this day, I just can't play it anymore. Real shame for something that I couldn't turn off back in May.

FOUR

BLEACH

-When it comes to anime, I avoid it like it's the plague. In fact, I would rather get the plague than watch ten seconds of Gundam Wing.

Gundam Wing = Brain cells being blown out of your skull

I am not afraid to admit though that there are two animes in my mind that were actually quite decent. One was Cowboy Bebop and the other was Bleach. Now I was a little skeptical about Bleach at first, but since my roommate in college was VERY INSISTENT that I watch it, I decided to just give it a try. I got hooked. I fell in love with the crazy personalities of all the characters, especially the hotblooded but honorable Ichigo, the tortured soul of Rukia, the taciturn giant Chad (or Chado, since the Japanese can't really say Chad), and of course the delightfully perverted lion toy Kon.

The apogee of this show came during the "Save Rukia" arc, when the main characters fearlessly banded together to save their friend, the guilt-ridden Rukia from execution. Other cool characters like the goofy ingenuous Hanatarou and the loyal Ganju just added more awesomeness to this show. The plot arc was intense. I remember watching close to 12 episodes a day because I could not wait for the resolution. In the end, the arc's conclusion left me hungry for more. *SPOILER* Aizen's betrayal of the Soul Society left me speechless.

Then, the show just became DUMB AS F**K. The Bount arc was just stupid and had no real purpose. Watching the Bount arc was about as fun as having a bunch of rats run a marathon all over your body. My friend urged me to continue and told me the next arc was better. Nope. The next arc was even worse. There was WAY too much attention placed on the MOST BORING BIMBO in the entire show, Orihime. In addition, I pretty much hate all the Soul Society freaks, with the exception of a few. So you can imagine how pissed off I was that they shifted all the attention away from the main folks to these stupid ass Soul Society cretins, all of whom had personalities of mannequins.

Now another friend of mine is urging me to watch Bleach again. Honestly though, it just doesn't appeal to me. It would be like eating delicious cole slaw... that was left out in the summer heat. The show was really action-packed, profound, and fascinating in the early going. Now it just seems like another stupid, cliche anime.

THREE

























BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER

-There was once a time when vampires were actually kickass. They didn't do any of this "sparkle" crap that's for sure.

In the late 1990s, my sister got me hooked on Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Though it was a show obviously geared more towards teenage girls, its rich plot, filled with all sorts of interesting elements from classic horror to film noir, really made this one of the most unique programs on TV.

Like Bleach, the characters on this show were all perfect. Everybody from the lovable, clumsy, but persistent Xander to the stoic sage Giles to the brooding anti-hero Angel and of course Buffy herself complemented each other so well. While there were moments of high anxiety and frightening scenes of dark disturbing content, there was this clever humor about the show that always made sure there was never a dull moment.

While Season 1 was more geared towards campy but entertaining parodies of high school life mixed with cheesy horror movies, the final few episodes really touched on dark themes such as death, fear, and the idea of fulfilling one's duty in the face of incredible danger. Season 2 really pushed the envelopes with tremendous writing and an emotionally gripping plot arc involving Buffy and Angel. In fact, Season 2 was so amazing in quality, that the show never reached those levels again.

During Season 4, I stopped watching the show altogether. The interesting and sympathetic Angel was moved off of the show to make room for Riley, a character who had some sort of a GI Joe complex. Senior citizens playing shuffleboard had more enthusiasm and passion than him. The premise of ADAM, the idiotic "Big Bad" of that atrocious season really killed it. I mean this thing was apparently part man, part demon, and part robot all rolled into one. Unfortunately, a bar of soap had more charisma and personality than this piece of monkey crap.

I don't know what else became of the show. Season 4 was just so bad I thought that my eyes would bleed out. After such a great start with Seasons 1 and 2, this was a show that just went nowhere. It's amazing how just two characters could wreck Buffy's momentum.

TWO




























HEROES

-In the summer of 2007, right after my first year of college, there was a TV show that really caught my attention.

NBC's Heroes was one of the most intelligently written shows in the 2006-2007 TV year. The ensemble cast was outstanding and the various plots really grabbed my attention. The concept was fresh and the show really benefited from outstanding characters.

The way the show split up its arcs, first with the whole "Save the Cheerleader" bit, then moving on to the discovery of Mr. Bennett's hidden life, and then the final confrontation with Sylar was done excellently. Instead of rushing everything, Season 1 paced itself and by doing this, it allowed the show's audience to really delve deep into the psyche of each character and understand each person's motivation for using the powers that they had. While all this was done, the show remarkably rarely fell into melodrama or hokey sci-fi elements. This helped Heroes seem more plausible than it could possibly be. Probably the best thing about Heroes was that their superpowers came secondary. The main themes of the show dealt with very real concepts like love, family ties, jealousy, lust for power, fear, and finding the truth.

Then the show just spontaneously combusted into one of the worst clusterf**ks in American tv.

Season 3 was just a total and absolute disgrace. None of the episodes made any sense, the dialog read like it was written by a four year old. Every episode was such a chore to go through, it was like having your head stamped in by a rabid wildebeest. The plot was just ridiculous, something about two competing "superhuman" camps

By the fourth season, it seemed as though the writers all got creative lobotomies. The central focus of season 4 was that the US govt now got involved and that they were chasing after the heroes who were simply misunderstood and fighting for survival.

Gee, I wonder where I've heard that before?



ONE
















REX GROSSMAN

-Feb 4th, 2007 was one of the darkest days in Chicago history. It was as bad as the fire, the flood, the 1995 heatwave, and the introduction of the White Sox.

It was supposed to be a happy day. It was supposed to be the moment when the Bears would finally win their first super bowl since 1985, exorcising all the demons since then and firmly entrenching the 2006 Chicago Bears as another mainstay topic of conversation amongst nostalgic Chicago sports fans in years to come.

Unfortunately, thanks to Rex Grossman's INABILITY TO HOLD ON TO THE GODDAMN BALL, it didn't work out that way and the Bears lost 29-17 to a freaking team from Indiana led by a guy whose forehead is so large, you could land a space shuttle on it.

Rex Grossman is by far one of the most hated men in the city of Chicago. He was a major contributor (perhaps the only contributor) to the dismal performance of the offense in that game and his key fumbles and interceptions always turned momentum for the Colts right when it seemed like the Bears were about to take control of the game.

However, a big reason why the Bears got into the Super Bowl in the first place was because in the first three or four games of the season, Grossman looked like MVP material. Of course it's hard to type that with a straight face. In that fateful 2006 season, Rex Grossman torched Green Bay 26-0 and then proceeded to beat the Bears' other divisional rivals: Detroit and Minnesota, with exceptional performances. His performances were shocking and impressive and it appeared that the Bears finally had that quarterback that eluded them for the past 100 years or so.

But it was all a chimera. Grossman continually got worse as the season went on. His performances, so dramatically horrendous, was epitomized by his dreadful passer rating of 0.0. Yeah that's right, his passer rating was 0.0 and ironically this was against the same Packer team that the Bears' beat 26-0 thanks to Grossman's arm.

And then in Super Bowl XLI, Rex Grossman proceeded to just hand the ball off to the Colts, killing any chance the Bears had of winning that game. 2007 was probably even worse for Grossman and withing a year or two, the beleaguered qb finally left the team.

Cheers,
DC

DC's 12 New Years Resolutions

HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!!!!!!!

I hope everyone had a safe but fun new years eve and an equally awesome new years day. I had a really great time this New Year's Eve thanks to a good friend of mine from Oakton. Much better than last year's snorefest drinking champagne with my parents and watching the most boring telecast of Navy Pier fireworks on the local news.

I also realized this New Year's Eve that i have to stay away from karaoke machines...not only to preserve what little dignity I have left, but also for the betterment of all mankind.

So the best part of new year's day is definitely making a list of resolutions. And the best part of these resolutions, is that they are made to be BROKEN lol. I don't think I've ever successfully fulfilled one new years resolution yet.

So in case anyone's curious, i came up with a list of 12 resolutions, one for every month.

DENNIS'S 2011 NEW YEARS RESOLUTIONS

1. Do more cardio at the gym

-Okay so since I've started taking classes at Oakton, I've been going to a local gym to lift weights with my pops. Honestly, I LOATHE IT but at least it's doing some good for my physical and even mental health.

The only thing is that I haven't really worked on my cardio. I swim once a week (twice a week on rare occasions) but I think I should probably do some more running. With my hatred of running though, I highly doubt that I will fall into this routine, although thinking optimistically here, I didn't expect to be going to the gym as often as I do now so who knows.

2. Eat less junk food

-Junk food and I were, are, and will always be meant to be for one another...but I think it is time to move on.

In college, i ate enough junk food to make an elephant puke. Since coming home, I've def cut down a lot but I definitely haven't been eating as healthy as I probably should haha. Wendys should really file a restraining order on me since I go there so many times.

3. Learn how to be good at repairing things around the house

-This is a valuable skill that sadly I have not even come close to mastering. Sometimes I try to talk to my dad for some advice, but the conversation always somehow sidetracks into another topic which eventually distracts us from our original point.

In the long run, it will probably save me tons of money. Like Clint Eastwood said in the movie Gran Torino, "Vice grips, duct tape, and WD-40, any man worth half his salt can fix anything with those three things."

Sorry Clint, I only really know how to use duct tape...

4. Don't care as much about the Detroit Red Wings

-By now I think most of you know how much I hate the Detroit Red Wings. Actually, hate is not strong enough a word.

I guess to best describe it, if the Red Wings ever went bankrupt and moved to another city and became another team, I would pop champagne and invite everyone I knew to my house for a party. That's pretty much how much I abhor them.

But I think it's a little hypocritical for me to insult White Sox fans for caring more about the Cubs' losing than their own team winning, when I kind of do the same thing when it comes to the Wings. For fairness sake, I think that I got to let my anger and rage towards the Wings slide for a bit...

5. Study for the GRE Math

-This is very important. The last time I took the GRE, I blew off the math section b/c I really didn't think it was necessary. Big mistake.

Considering that I have as much historical research experience as a Chinese panda, I pretty much gotta do all the little things necessary to help me stand out as a candidate. Having a decent to good GRE math score might help me more than you might think

6. Keep reading more material from profs

-Another resolution that I should probably start following after I take the GRE is to read articles and books that professors have written. I can finally narrow down a list of who I would like to have as my advisors.

7. READ MORE IN GENERAL

-It's pretty sad that a guy like me hasn't really read any serious books. Compared to a certain friend of mine who practically reads 100 books a month, I can barely get through one now *sigh*.

8. Practice these foreign languages I'm learning

-Right now, I'm paying a little more than 1500 dollars to take these courses. It might be a good idea to supplement my knowledge of these languages by doing more stuff on the side, like reading newspapers

The other day I tried to watch a Russian newscast on youtube. I think I got one word of the whole entire broadcast: America. And it probably wasn't even used in the context I was thinking of.

9. Be more informed

-While I was in college, I kept up with the news like a freak. NPR, BBC, Time Magazine, hell even Fox News and MSNBC, i would use them to see what was actually going on in the world around me.

Then I came back home and I haven't done jack. Since school ended, the only international news stories that registered in my brain were the World Cup (which was probably 99.9% of the international news during the summer), the Chilean earthquake, and North Korea's sneak attack.

In the meantime, Cote d'Ivoire is on the brink of civil war, riots are going on in Britain and France, cholera broke out in Haiti, and Lindsay Lohan is stuck in jail again (...) the last story aside, I think it just goes to show how important it is to just know what the f**k is going on in general.

I get hella annoyed whenever people use the stereotype that Americans don't know and they don't bother to know what goes on in the rest of the world. Sadly, it is true, but I don't want that to happen to me for sure

10. Save up to travel somewhere

-New Years Eve was the culmination of a built-up feeling I've had for a while, mainly after seeing how many people have studied abroad the past two years.

It seemed like on NYE that everyone I talked to had been to another country in the past two years.

Or when I went on facebook and saw the photos people had of them standing in front of the Eiffel Tower or the Colosseum, or the Great Wall of China. Me? The most memorable photos i have involved Washington DC (which is still in America) and jack o lantern "Bob" from October which has since decomposed into the soil.

The last time I visited a foreign country was 2005 in Canada, but seriously that doesn't count. The last time I REALLY traveled was 2002 when I met family in Europe. That was almost TEN YEARS AGO.

I obviously don't have the money now, which is why I should probably start saving up. Think of it this way, every time i skip out on a Subway sandwich or donut from Dunkin Donuts, I'm inching closer towards a nice visit to somewhere. Unfortunately, it will involve a plane...yuck

11. Stop falling asleep during the day

-I really have no excuse for this happening. I get 6-7 hours a day of sleep a night, which is probably more than some people get per week. I don't waste time watching bull***t on tv anymore. And i drink a good cup of coffee every morning.

So why do I always feel like passing out at various times during the day?

12. Stop playing Battle.net Starcraft 2

-There's only so many times I can tolerate some IDIOT punk kid, probably no older than 12, calling me a "noob" or saying he "PWNED" me over the internet just because he just destroyed me at Starcraft.

Sometimes, it makes me laugh at how stupid these morons are. Then I realize how playing starcraft just wasted another 30-40 mins I could have spent studying or doing other things around the house...

Here's to hoping 2011 will be a productive and joyous twelve months!

Cheers,

DC

Badasses and Jackasses #3

1 semester down...3 more to go.

As I chug along the purgatory that is the bridge between my undergraduate years and my ultimate goal of graduate school, I have finished one semester's worth of language courses at Oakton Community College. The experiences were quite positive but I'm not afraid to admit that I'm definitely glad that one semester of these language classes are out of the way.

I haven't done this in a while so I figure, it's time for another stirring edition of

Badasses

and

Jackasses

BADASS

-Chicago Mayor Richard M. Daley

In February of 2011, the great city of Chicago will have a new mayor for the first time since April of 1989.

To put that in perspective, George Bush Sr. (no not Dubya but his much smarter father) had just taken residence in the White House three months earlier. The Exxon Valdez spill was only a month before. The tragic massacre at Tiananmen Square had not even occurred yet.

Usually when one man is in a position of power for that long, it means that he/she most likely abused their authority or were just that damn good. I think it's pretty clear that Richard M. Daley was no political saint...but I think it's also pretty obvious to say that he deserves a lot of praise and credit for the job he has done in Chicago for the past 21 years.

Let's face it, since the era of Reaganomics, as well as Bill Clinton's terrifically stupid idea to turn America into a "Free Trade Globalization Whore," the economy of the Midwest has taken a colossal beating. Once the shining jewels of American industry, Detroit, Cleveland, and Pittsburgh have hit some difficult times. There's a reason why the area that stretches from Pennsylvania to Ohio to Michigan to Wisconsin to Illinois is called the "Rust Belt." Like an old machine that hasn't been taken care of, the metropolises of America's heartland have been forgotten and neglected.

But playing the Sarah Palin card of blaming all our troubles on "those sneaks" up in Washington is a little unfair and irresponsible. Cities like Detroit have had some pretty lousy leadership, case in point, Exhibit A:

Under the same incompetent and ineffective leadership, Chicago could have easily headed down the same path. In fact, with massive flight to the 'burbs, it seemed inevitable.

People who can't adapt to the times will always fall through the cracks. When the tide collapsed on the American manufacturing industry, Daley shifted Chicago's economy to one that was more service-based, pretty much the trend for any city seeking to reach elite status not just in America, but around the world as well. Daley also decided that the City of Big Shoulders should also expand its reputation to be a possible tourist destination, despite the fact that snow and sub-zero temperatures take over the city four months out of the year. Navy Pier was finally brought forth to its potential, now becoming one of Chicago's most popular attractions.

Millennium Park was also a crowning achievement of the Daley years. It's funny listening to my dad basically insult what the city looked like before the park was created. He tells me stories that the lake front, with the exception of Grant Park, was just filled with garbage, broken bottles, and rusty railroad tracks. Now, Chicagoans can enjoy the beautiful and sleek sights of Millennium Park right by good old Lake Michigan, and we should thank Richard M. Daley for that.

Daley also at least tried to make an effort to fix Chicago's notoriously awful schools. By appointing Paul Vallas and Arne Duncan, Daley did a few things to push some areas in the right direction, although I would be lying if I told you Daley completely fixed the education problems in Chicago. Daley, the descendant of hard-working Irish immigrants to this city years ago, also saw the need for immigration reform and pushed for that as well. And despite his firm Roman Catholic background, as well as the shadow of his macho and bombastic father following him, Daley also saw the need to put aside petty prejudices and tried to promote rights for gays and lesbians.

Perhaps one of Daley's most "endearing and charming" attributes was his passion and fury. Just like his old man, Daley was never afraid to "tell it like it is," something that is definitely needed in a society that has become way too PC these days. When Daley was informed that the eggheads up in Washington told him to clean up the Chicago River, Daley basically told them to go f**k themselves. However, unlike the boorish and uncharismatic Dick Cheney, Daley did it in a much less profane way. Daley basically told off the dummies in the EPA, mocking them about their own stupidity for not cleaning their own river in the capital, as well as bungling the BP Oil Spill. Makes sense considering Daley's record on pushing Chicago to become a greener city. When people criticized Daley for his aggressive push to allow Chicago cops to own high-powered weapons, Daley simply told them the honest truth, that a cop's job, particularly in Chicago, is extremely dangerous and they needed proper protection to keep their lives safe. Quite frankly, anyone who criticized his decision on this matter obviously was some brainless silver spoon idealist who probably lived up in the 'burbs on their high horse.

Daley is definitely not an angel. All the mistakes he made with privatizing parking meters, COUNTLESS corruption charges on truck drivers and other forms of patronage, as well as neglecting his wife during her illness definitely knock him down from his pedestal. Some even say that Daley, for all the time he spent making the Loop a much nicer aesthetic place, did little to help some of Chicago's most difficult areas, which is what a mayor of any city should do, especially one that was in power for more than twenty years. All of these hurt his reputation and remind us that for all his positives, he had some very glaring flaws.

Still, Daley's leadership kept Chicago relevant and allowed it to prosper at a time when the world around it, not just in Washington but also beyond America's borders, forced many Midwestern cities around Chitown to bite the bullet hard.

And let's not forget, he nearly brought the Olympics here. For all the morons who are going to rip on Daley for not getting the Olympics to Chicago, seriously go and get a lobotomy b/c you're clearly wasting your brain power. You really think that Chicago had any chance against a city like Rio, or Madrid, or Tokyo, especially considering the obvious bias the IOC has against US bids? It's amazing enough that Daley at least got Chicago into the finals.

The fact that this jackmuffin New Trier phony

is most likely going to succeed one of Chicago's best mayors makes me very sad.

Mayor Richard M. Daley, you are a bonafide BADASS. Take a bow.

JACKASS

-Luke Scott

Since becoming President of the United States, Barack Obama has earned his fair share of detractors. Some of them have justifiable grievances. American conservatives for example have every right to be upset and criticize Obama's plans to socialize health care, close Guantanamo Bay, and pull US soldiers out of the Iraq War. After all, distrust of welfare programs and hardline stances on the "War on Terror" are positions that defined the Republican Party during the Dubya years.

No one should have expected the conservatives of this country to welcome our new president with open arms. After all, did liberals do the same with Dubya? Obviously not.

However, I do take major exception with one of Obama's most egregiously moronic critics: the Birthers.

If you do not know who they are, brace yourself, you might lose precious brain cells just reading about the idiocy they believe in. Well according to them, they argue that Obama should never have been eligible to run for president. Why you ask? They state that Barack H. Obama, senator from Illinois and former resident of the US state of Hawaii, was actually born in Kenya.

Well apparently Baltimore Orioles' outfielder Luke Scott is a strong believer in this "birther conspiracy."

Yahoo Sports posted an interview they did with the outspoken baseball player. He's an avid hunter and believes in second amendment rights. Nothing wrong with that. Despite the fact that I tend to lean left in the political spectrum, I have no problem with hunting and owning weapons of any kind, as long as you're responsible with them. Hey it's just like drinking.

Speaking of drinking, it seems like Luke Scott did a little too much of it before his yahoo interview because some of the crap that soon followed his statements on hunting made him look like a brainless d-bag.

Scott's first mistake, said a bunch of garbage out of his ass without backing it up. He made some good points about why they should be a little less strict on gun control laws. Then he absolutely DESTROYED his argument by doing what all political cretins do, making up facts from nowhere. This imbecile claimed that Washington DC's crime rate was the highest in the country despite the fact that they had the strictest gun control laws. Uh...dumbass, Washington DC is not even in the top twenty according to the FBI. But i bet Scott is probably one of those anti-govt. nutjobs who thinks the FBI are a bunch of "fascist liars."

The funny thing is that according to the list, the two most dangerous cities in America are St. Louis and Camden, both of which are located in states that allow concealed firearms. In fact, both states also are pretty lenient when it comes to owning shotguns and rifles. But I'm not going to jump to conclusions like this Luke Scott nitwit. Unlike Luke Scott, I'm smart enough to know that there are BILLIONS of other reasons that explain the levels of crime in a city.

If that wasn't stupid enough, the ignoramus Luke Scott continued on with his senseless drivel. He goes off on how Obama "does not represent America." Fair enough. But then he just completely derails himself with the ultimate in silliness, siding with the birthers.

His own words from the article:

"If someone accuses me of not being born here, I can go withing 10 minutes -- to my filing cabinet and I can pick up my real birth certificate...the man [Obama] has dodged everything. He dodges questions, he doesn't answer anything. And why? Because he's hiding something."

The simpleton then proceeded to go on some tangent about how Obama lacks honor, integrity etc.

Hey genius, Obama's administration has gone public about this. I don't know what Luke Scott is talking about but he certainly isn't dodging anything, especially when you can find this on the F**KING internet

If this guy got hit in the head by a fastball, a deafening hollow echo would result. It would be louder than a sonic boom.

Luke Scott, your inability to check facts before making outlandish statements and gross generalizations, as well as your blind devotion to quite possibly the DUMBEST GROUP OF MOTHERF**KERS this planet has ever seen, make you a total JACKASS. Thanks a lot you weasel.

Cheers,
DC

It's Time To Give Them a Chance

In the years leading up to the 1994 World Cup, the United States, a country NOTORIOUS for embracing negative attitudes towards unarguably the world's most popular sport (soccer, a.k.a. football) was awarded the right to host the tournament.

Many were skeptical of the decision to choose the USA. America's soccer history prior to 1994 was a punchline. The last time the United States qualified for a World Cup was in 1950 and when they finally did make their long awaited appearance in 1990, only four years before they were picked to host the big event, they bombed out unceremoniously, getting humiliated in their first game against Czechoslovakia 5-1 and then promptly lost to Italy and Austria. Others might have had issue with the venues, none of which were purely for soccer (most were converted American football stadiums like Rose Bowl and Soldier Field) and that attendance would be dismal considering the dislike Americans had for the "Beautiful Game." Others pointed at the state of the United States national team and probably thought that they would be the first host team not to make it past the group stages.

Well the 1994 World Cup went along and sure enough the USA landed in the Round of 16 and played eventual champions Brazil "competitively" (losing only 1-0 haha). Perhaps even more impressive, the 1994 World Cup broke the record for most total attendance at 3.6 million throughout the tournament. To this day, 1994 still holds that record despite subsequent tournaments in more soccer-friendly countries like France in 1998 and Germany in 2006.

So much for a World Cup that was expected to fail.

Why am I bringing this up now?

Well if you haven't heard the news, FIFA made the controversial decision to award the World Cups of 2018 and 2022 to Russia and Qatar respectively. Unsurprisingly, the choices were not met with much enthusiasm. The selection of Qatar was met with rather harsh criticism from the United States in particular. Even Obama, the supposed global statesman, was not supportive of a World Cup being held in the tiny Middle Eastern country.

And it's not just the USA. Accusations of "oil money" and bribery have been levied against both Russia and Qatar from all places: Spain, Japan, and of course, the envious English who honestly are acting as though hosting the World Cup is their God-given right, despite the fact that they've only won once and haven't reached the semis since 1990. Honestly, if any country has a God-given right to host the tournament, it's Brazil considering they've won the thing:

FIVE FREAKING TIMES

A lot of this talk stems just from sheer arrogance. England had the best technical bid and the best soccer history (well relatively speaking). That being said, that never made them a shoo-in to host 2018. The United States also had a strong bid as well, but they shouldn't have treated this 2022 bid like it was going to be handed to them on a silver platter. And honestly for Spain, it really doesn't help your cause when your bid says Spain/PORTUGAL 2018 and your bid head keeps forgetting to mention PORTUGAL in his stump speeches.

Perhaps worse than the English whining over "Russia's bribery," are the comments made by Americans concerning Qatar. I was a fan of Alexi Lalas as a player, but as a commentator he is just terrible. He's already predicting that the USA will be the immediate backup to Qatar if they fail. Um, first off Qatar has ridiculous amounts of oil money and 12 years to build all the stadiums so yeah barring some natural disaster, I don't think we'll have to worry about a "backup plan" anytime soon. And even if they did, why would it necessarily go to America? Australia's bid was impressive as well.

Others are playing the "Extremist, Backward Muslims" Card that's been used by the ignoramuses of the world since 9/11. They are going off on how beer will be banned and how women will be forced to wear niqabs, burkas, and hijabs.

C'mon son! Use your head people, when it comes to these greedy monarchies out there, MONEY TRUMPS GOD. The leaders of Qatar know that this:

and of course this

equals interest which of course equals money. As soon as they see the cash flowing from the beer and the half-naked unofficial cheerleaders, I'm pretty sure the al-Thanis will let it slide...

There are three main goals (no pun intended) of the World Cup: 1.) to determine the best national team in the world, 2.) to entertain and amaze the world with brilliant, thrilling, and beautiful displays of soccer for a month, 3.) to spread the popularity of the world's most popular sport as far as it can possibly go. As far as accomplishing the 3rd goal, FIFA could not have chosen better hosts than Russia and Qatar.

It's difficult to determine whether or not soccer is the most popular sport in Russia (most likely it is). Regardless, Russia, aside from a miracle run at Euro 2008, has underachieved at most international tournaments since the dissolution of the Soviet Union. There's no denying the popularity of soccer throughout the Middle East, but that doesn't change the fact that Qatar has not even come close to qualifying for the World Cup. To be quite frank, Qatar's national team will probably be embarrassed in the group stages of 2022. Let's keep several facts in mind however. South Africa was not a soccer powerhouse coming into the 2010 World Cup. Korea and Japan were not heavy kings of the sport when 2002 rolled around.

Look at the transformation of soccer in the United States since they were awarded the right to host in 1994. Major League Soccer was created only two years later and still exists to this day. While the level of play is nowhere close to their European counterparts, MLS has a strong fanbase and has produced good talent. Aside from a major hiccup in 1998, the United States national team evolved from laughingstock to a mid-tier threat. They have dominated CONCACAF, becoming competitive with historic regional powerhouse Mexico. The US has qualified for every World Cup since 1994 and made it past the group stages in 2002 and 2010. And finally in terms of the level of popularity, the 2010 World Cup drew crazy ratings all across the country.

I think it is safe to say that 1994 was a turning point for soccer in this country. The facts make me confident that 2018 and 2022 will be the same for Russia and Qatar.

But for that to happen, we just have to give them a chance...

Cheers,
DC

WikiLeaks: Boon or Bane?

Unless you have been living under a rock for the last few months, you have probably heard of WikiLeaks, a website that has somehow gained access to extremely classified government documents, and publishes them on the Internet. This guy with the shady sunglasses and dangerously smug expression is not a Bond villain but it's actually Julian Assange, the founder of this website.

Lately, he has come under fire over sexual assault charges, but he has also drawn the ire of many governments, particularly Uncle Sam after Assange's website published a series of government documents that revealed some controversial realities of the U.S.'s campaign in Iraq and Afghanistan.

Just these past couple of days, Assange has released a document that apparently now reveals that the American military command in Afghanistan has not thought "too fondly" of their British allies involved in the Helmand Province. American commanders apparently thought that the Brits made "a real mess of things." Apparently, Hamid Karzai (the uber corrupt and incompetent president of Afghanistan, and the saddest excuse for a "democratic" leader this side of Ronald Reagan's old buddy Augusto Pinochet) didn't think too highly of the British presence there either.

In circumstances like these, I think WikiLeaks is really causing problems. The last thing America needs is for them to lose another crucial ally. Thanks to the "people skills" of certain people during the previous administration, we burned bridges with everyone from Australia to Germany to South Korea. Britain is another one of those countries that is vital to the war effort in Afghanistan.

Honestly, I don't know what Assange is trying to accomplish by making these articles public. Most likely Assange is one of those anti-Bush liberals who still can't get over the fact that unfortunately America is mired in this f**king war over in some country that's been god forsaken since 1979. I acknowledge that WikiLeaks does us all a favor by revealing these secrets and making them known, but at the same time stuff like this should not be treated lightly. If Assange wants to vent about his anti-Bush, anti-war views, he needs to keep in mind that sowing the seeds of discord is only going to make things much worse. Losing the British in the war effort because of some stupid hissy fit in Afghanistan will only make the situation much more difficult. Not like this guy cares, he's probably banking and resting somewhere cozily while more American soldiers are putting their lives on the line for some bulls**t war that has done nothing except for getting rid of the Taliban, only for them to come back like the cockroaches they are.

However, let's not forget though that Assange's WikiLeaks also brought to our attention the needless and disturbing deaths of Saeed Chmagh and Namir Noor Eldeen, two Reuters journalists who were killed by US soldiers in very reprehensible circumstances. His website informed us of something that the regular media often lacks the courage to do. In that sense, WikiLeaks and Assange have done us all a great favor, giving us valuable, straightforward, gritty information while CNN wastes our time about another story on Lindsay Lohan, MSNBC's Rachel Maddow goes on some stupid, narrow-minded rant on the "ignorance" of the American South, and Fox News just does their usual dumb gimmick of "fair and balanced" crap.

Perhaps even more important is WikiLeaks finally taking on China. While not necessarily confronting them (at this point, only God has the courage to really take on the Chinese powerhouse), Assange posted a secret American document that reveals something that many of us have suspected all along, that China no longer gives a damn about what happens to North Korea.

This is extremely valuable. Until that document, no one could really prove that China, arguably North Korea's only relevant ally in the international stage, no longer has too much, if any interest in maintaining those old bull***t communist ties that really died out when Deng Xiaoping took over in Beijing. China now realizes that Seoul is the only relevant Korea left and that the sooner the Kim regime in Pyongyang ends, the better it will be for China and Korea to build a relationship (that will involve many exchanges of money)

It's funny how at this point, the seemingly untouchable political regime of China now is scrambling and taking a half-assed stance in regards to another of North Korea's heinous and asinine acts that cost the lives of two South Korean soldiers and ruined the lives of many other civilians. And all this due to a document leaked by WikiLeaks that pretty much shows that China now regards North Korea as a "spoiled child."

Without China's full backing, North Korea is finished. We may have WikiLeaks to thank for that.

Cheers,

DC

My Rant on the Dark Knight

A few days ago, I stumbled upon a few movies that many people consider to be early contenders for Best Picture. One of them is True Grit, a Coen Brothers remake of a classic John Wayne western. The King's Speech is a British historical drama about King George VI and his stuttering problem (something I was not aware of). And then there's The Fighter, a biopic of tough-as-nails blue-collar boxer Micky Ward. All three of the movies look fascinating and I'm definitely interested in seeing all three of them.

While I was watching the trailers, however, I was reminded of how cheap and goofy the Best Picture award is now. Personally, I blame it all on the fact that now, ten movies are nominated for the most prestigious award in American entertainment. Some claim that the ten movie extension was done to help encourage more independent films in getting nominations. Last year's nominations of films like Precious and the eventual winner Hurt Locker certainly give credence to that fact.

But the bottom line is, this stupid 10-nomination rule is thanks to one goddamn movie. And that movie is The Dark Knight, one of the MOST OVERRATED MOVIES OF ALL TIME.

When The Dark Knight was not nominated for Best Picture back in 2008 (eventually won by another ridiculously overhyped movie, Slumdog Millionaire) everyone and their mother were crying afoul. I remember getting lectured about my "lack of refined movie taste" from my own sister, (YES MY OWN SISTER) because I was mocking the idiots who honestly thought The Dark Knight was Best Picture quality.

Now that the hype of the Batman sequel has died down, I think a lot of people will agree with me that this movie was not and will never be considered one of the greatest movies of all time, which is what a Best Picture movie is supposed to be. At its best, it's a mildly entertaining continuation of a FAR SUPERIOR movie in Batman Begins.

So why do I think that The Dark Knight is not that great of a movie? Well for starters, the only actors who really stood out in the film were Gary Oldman, who once again gave a strong performance as a wise and psychologically exhausted Jim Gordon, and of course the late Heath Ledger. I will admit that he deserved his posthumous win as the Joker.

Christian Bale is normally a terrific actor. Before Batman Begins, he didn't get the credit that he probably deserved. He does a great job as Bruce Wayne but his Batman is meh. It's not bad and it's certainly better than Val Kilmer, Michael Keaton, and yes George Clooney (excuse me while I suppress the urge to vomit), but it doesn't really carry the movie. The voice was definitely distracting and I could not sympathize with his character at all. When he mourns the loss of Rachel Dawes, in my mind I just wanted the scene to end as fast as possible. You're supposed to feel sorry for him because he lost his love but because there was ZERO chemistry between the two characters, I just couldn't care less.

The worst. The ABSOLUTE WORST was from Aaron Eckhart. Granted, it wasn't as bad as Tommy Lee Jones in Batman Forever, but that's not saying much. The last hour of the movie, his character became UNBEARABLE. I would rather get slowly skinned alive by a million rabid sea urchins then listen to his incessant crying about the death of his stupid girlfriend whose name he just had to scream A MILLION TIMES. Honestly, did somebody tell him to just holler every line as loud as possible? It was like he was trying to talk over everyone in the movie, which was stupid since it's not like Maggie Gyllenhaal or Gary Oldman were bellowing their lines like jackhammers.

That scene in the hospital where he talks to the Joker. Watch it again. It STINKS. The Joker just rambles like some idiotic punch-drunk anarchist while the Eckhart as Two Face just stares at him with about as much hatred as you would give someone you suspected of farting in your face. Sprinkle in a few instances of "RACHEL!!!!!!" and PRESTO, you have a slow and distracting scene.

Maggie Gyllenhaal. I don't know wtf happened here. She's normally a pretty decent actress but in Dark Knight, she just really had no energy or enthusiasm. The scene with the Joker where she "confronts" him at the gala, you could have put an ancient mummy in her place and it would have carried more emotion. It was like someone told her to get high as a kite before they shot every scene with her character. She was so wooden throughout the film that I was THRILLED when her character was killed off.

The acting was not great but another problem with the film was just the terrible final act of the movie. Two-Face starts crying, wetting his diaper, and after that really drawn out scene talking to the Joker in the hospital, he just randomly goes on a killing rampage. The Joker devises some plan to blow up two boats. Sounds okay but those scenes DRAGGED. The movie is about Batman goddamn it, not two freaking boats and the bumbling morons on them arguing with each other about blowing up the other one.

What was the deal with the Bat-sonar or whatever the hell that thing was that made his eyes go white? The film gave the most half-assed explanation and then we were forced to watch it and try to make sense out of it for the next 10 or so minutes. The whole time, I was convinced I overdosed on acid and powdered donuts. Everything was white and wavy and downright disorienting.

Perhaps my biggest beef with The Dark Knight is not against the film itself, Christopher Nolan, or the actors in general. I think it has a lot to do with the audience themselves, the people who after watching this movie reacted like they had just seen Elvis come back from the dead. So many little stupid niches, things like the "disappearing pencil scene" "Why so Serious?" were the reasons why people heavily overrated this movie, which to me was just dumb as hell.

It was style and not substance. Seriously, what was the deep theme of this movie? That's right, THERE WASN'T ONE!!!!!!

Now that I think everyone has fallen back to reality (hopefully), I would love to hear the reactions people have towards this film now. Do they still think it's the best movie ever? Do they still think that The Dark Knight is the solution to all peace in the world? Do they honestly still think that The Dark Knight is a film that challenges us and makes us do some considerable soul-searching?

Well if you think otherwise today, it's a little too late. Thanks to your whining three years ago, the Academy Award for Best Picture is a joke now with its dumb 10 nominations rule and all because people honestly thought this movie deserved an Oscar nod.

Live Free or Die Hard was a more profound movie

Cheers,

DC

Why I Hate Flying

The art of traveling. Is there anything more cool than going to places around in our great planet of ours? Thanks to the constant innovations in aviation, I could go to Beijing in a matter of a day and see the sights and sounds of a country like China (if I had the money).

Despite all this, I hate flying.

In fact, "hate" is probably not a strong enough word for it. I LOATHE FLYING.

If it was humanly possible, I would rather swim all the way across the Pacific and then hitchhike my way all across Communist China to get to the Forbidden City, than board a plane.

You can start giggling and snickering like an over-caffeinated schoolgirl about my "aviophobia." The fact is, you are much safer, MUCH SAFER, MUCH SAFER in a plane than you are in a car. That is just a fact. I don't like to judge people unless they are normally an ass (like Adam Carolla), but honestly that's pretty sad if you are terrified of jumping in a plane that 99.999% of the time, is perfectly safe. So no, I don't have aviophobia. That's not the reason why I hate flying.

The presence of crying babies, surprisingly, is also not another reason why I hate flying. First off, babies cry, that's just fact. Ask any parent and they will tell you how difficult it is to raise a child, let alone to take care of one when you're in the freaking air. I actually can't stand people who whine about babies crying on planes. You think it's easy to make a baby stop crying? Why don't you go over to the mother then and give her some "advice." If the baby's crying really pisses you off so much, just get some noise-canceling headphones dumbass.

I hate flying b/c it seems like everyone on planes is so uptight about every damn thing. I always tell my friends this story but seriously there was one time i was sitting in a plane and i had to move my leg (you know or else it would lose sensation) and then i ACCIDENTALLY knocked into the seat in front of me. The guy proceeded to histrionically give a loud, obnoxious, disgruntled groan like he had just been kicked in the groin. And then he proceeded to shift in his seat in a very obvious and childish way as if to say, "Thanks for ruining my comfort." WHAT DAMN COMFORT? We're in coach for heaven's sake. Salmon and sardines get packed with more room than we do. Listen bud, it's not like I was sitting in a bed of roses either. The last thing I want to do is get stuck on some stupid plane where some grown man in front of me starts acting like a spoiled child all because I needed to move my foot before I would have pins and needles running up my goddamn leg the rest of the flight.

Man I wanted to just slap the hell out of him.

I was compelled to write this blog after reading this story online.

WTF? That's what I thought as soon as I finished reading this. Your flight got delayed for uh...three hours. BOO HOO! I was on a train that was delayed for 5-6 hours b/c of a goddamn tornado. And then they proceeded to stay in their chairs like whiny brats because the airplane landed in Liege, Belgium when it was supposed to land in Beauvois, France. Okay, I will admit, the pilot should have mentioned that the plane was going to be redirected. Still, is it really that big of a deal? Is Liege like some third world dump? The airline company gave you stupid lazy idiots free shuttle buses to France. And I love how the article tries to defend them saying that they were forced to stay in a dark cabin with no food, no water, and no toilet. Well excuse me if I don't cry a river for them. If they had just gotten off the DAMN PLANE when it landed, they wouldn't have to worry about that.

Seriously, what did they want? The airport in France was closed. If they had landed there, I can just imagine them complaining about "Where's my baggage?!" or "Why isn't the McDonald's open?"

What a bunch of wimps. Try flying out of Chicago in December or January. The delays there are basically an entire freaking day because of all the snow. And these morons are crying their eyes out because their plane was delayed for three hours. Give me a break.

See at least when babies are crying or whining, they don't know any better and that's why they do it. When adults do it, it makes you fear for the future of the human race.

Again, this is exactly the reason why I LOATHE FLYING. I LOATHE IT WITH A PASSION. Too bad, it's the most logical and convenient way to travel.

Cheers,

DC